


2 Surving Winchesters

by humanity_is_lost (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Activism, Iraq, M/M, War, awareness, middle eastern countries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:30:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/humanity_is_lost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester had been deployed for 14 out of his fifteen months, but Dean never makes it home. It wasn't because of the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 Surving Winchesters

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Even I got triggered writing this, PTSD survivor, from multiple rapes. People assume you'll cry and leave the hospital. I hope this will shine some light on rape culture not only in the middle eastern countries, but our own as well. Rape should never be a weapon.

 

_Dear My love, Cas,_

_I have many things to tell you, I'm praying to a God I'm not sure exists that they wont check the letters. You need to know what happened. Why I did it. You deserve the truth._

_They'll probably lie to avoid the issues that will be raised by what I've done. That doesn't mean I regret. I don't._

_Maybe this will save more lives, if I sacrifice myself._

_I can't handle this anymore, Castiel. I don't know if my letters showed that. Maybe got darker by each letter.'The thought of you got me through it. All those stupid picures we'd take. One a day. Now I'm glad we did that. I know how particular you are about your coffee, only theirs or mine. I think you were bias though._

_That doesn't matter._

_I'm going to be blunt, my love._

_My supervisor would take me into a dark back room and rape me, sometimes multiple times a day. I'd close my eyes and pretend I was talking to you instead._

_Then he started haunting my nightmares, then every time I closed my eyes._

_do you remember how I would sometimes talk to movies then realize they can't hear me?_

_I hopr our daughter grows up doing that. I can't believe I've missed so many milestones. I've missed them all. Hence multple letters for both of you extending to your fifties, one for each major event. I labled each specific event. Even if I'm not there, I can still her how proud I am of her, and You'll always be loved. I'llalways be there, whether you can tell or not. I'll see you in a few decades my love. I'm sure of it._

_So, my dearest, It's time to go. I love you, to the end of time._

**_Dean Winchester, 1 child, 1 husband._ **

****

****

  
**_  
_**Anna started kindergarten today. It's been many years since he'd received the letters, opening them on the right event. The letter changed his life completely, he'd dropped his position as a Religious Studies professor and became a interpetur for ASL in a rape support center, for the peole who are deaf, mute, ect. People who can't speak the language are often cast aside. Things were starting to change, slightly. Little by little. Cas wasn't crying over his lunch. He was crying over the kindergarten letter.

_Our baby is starting kindergarten! I'm sure if i was there I'd be crying or scooping her up and running away with our baby girl, She's our baby girl Cas! I'm trying to picture her, I just know that she had your amazing eyes._

_The beauty of surrogate mothering. Even with Meg's nine months of complaining, it had been amazing. Her beautiful blue eyes, just like her daddy's. Meg had noted that she had Dean's ears,  which made me beam even though I knew they weren;t actually mine. I wonder if you got another child like we'd been planning. I wouldn't be upset if not, single parenting is really hard. Lived it._

_Today I'm really missing Sammy. With the insane life we've lived, he was brought down by cancer. We watched his body and soul waste away. I heard him praying for Death to simply take him._

_A few days later, Sam died. I can't tell if  it was death or not._

  
_  
_The day that feminism was mainstream and popular would have made Dean very happy. Anna was a freshman by then. She knew what her daddy did to himself and why. She never outgrew daddy, because her brain recognized what they did together. Her father had been little when she grew up. Papa became Pop, but Dean was always Daddy. Some kids teased her. She didn't understand why. They had daddy's. Which she was jealous of. She wished Daddy had been there for her first unassisted double play. Or when she got her drivers permit, or teaching her how to even drive!

Cas just wanted the love of his life back. He didn't care if he was a wrecked version of himself, he'd do anything to have him in his arms again, to smell his plain white soap, or hear him doing dishes at midnight because he can't sleep.

Cas played their song over and over. It was a cover of an Elton John song, Your Song, Ellie Goulding. First song we ever danced to together. To be honest, we were terrible at dancing then, but they got better when they relaxed.

Castiel died at fifty eight, of natural causes.

When he landed in heaven, it looked just like their house before Cas stopped tending to it due to depression.

Then he looked down and realized he wasn't old and wrinkly. He looked like he was around thirty again.

Arms wrapped around Cas, it felt all too familiar. Was he the real Dean?

"I've missed you so much, Cas. "

Too familiar to nor be real. Tears were pouring from Castiel's eyes as he turned around to meet Dean's gaze, he couldn't take his eyes off him.

Being in Dean's arms once again was worth dying for.


End file.
